New York on My Chest

         Decided to wear this suit when a sudden-invitation called. I added my favorite outer so there will be no too-sad impression on my clothes! :D

Planet Hollywood' shirt merch, from aunty
Outer, SORA
Studded Black Heel, Connexion
Brown Bag, Sister's
Hat, Payless
Ring, bought from Bali


Lapse 2

     I'm aware, I'm in position that doesn't allow me to much-move, to let-him-go or to convice as he said at the time. I know you're practicing to get out from this kind of zone. My mind is flying on various questions so I want to know the answer-, but I hold.

     Time has indeed responded that nothing else can be fixed although  my faith is still there we are'nt on the same line as before and what will happen in the next second, I don't know.

     I will not blocking his way to find who really he looking for, like now. Since (maybe) his feeling have changed, I felt compelled to stop. Even still with 'trying again'.

  Running out of words yet I want share something as well. 
  How I admit this is one of boon from Allah, has lent me, him. 
  A big-boy (completely beyond my guess), with him..I'm fully new in a story that we just done. I absolutely have no interest again (after our junior hi-school short-moment happened), buuuuuut all changed. Initially, I felt the same love story #ingeneral. But as time moves forward, I was introduced to your world. Remarkable!

     I remembered every single thing he have done me, I've done for him, for us..




     Alhamdulillah, I'm very grateful for the opportunity that Allah given to me. Happy besides Ramadhan is a 'Glory Month', it always reminds me back to the memories of two years ago where the first time I met again with (crush when junior hi-school') then-became my closest now. It was a long story yet I never ever get bored about, until I and him said 'Berkah Ramadhan' everytime we talk about that unexpected meeting.

     Everything was running smooth, warm and sweet. Meeting-back again brought us to several months...eeem round four months for 'pdkt' which in the end right on **-**-2011 didn't know what's on his mind at that time, he express love by holding my hands first *i knew that's conventional, but whatever* then asked me whether I love him and want to be his sweetheart or not. Whoaaaaaaa still can imagine the butterflies in my tummy when I answered 'yes' with a nod :'') by the way, clearly remembered after that sweet-moment it was rain and he go home by taxi because his knee got surgery.

     First month anniversary, second month ....third .....fourth....oh well I don't know how long we've been through as lovers. Certainly, in that months we through full with conflict and fight until we decided to split up. Had three months avoiding, but still check each' condition. Day by day, week by week, we keep contact again, we near back then.

     Precisely, our relationship (not as lovers) become closer and closer, more and more comfortable. Our communication is much better, we're getting know and understand about each other' character, have passed happy, sad, difficult time and I'm more convinced to be with him. Later, don't know what made him feel should be completely separated. He asked me to 'go' first, and he would 'go' too.

     Of course it's not easy and not hard enough because it's terribly hard to do. Not about only how to let go, but to sincere when seeing he try to escape and seek another....